Spent 2001-2007 researching toy monkeys in Minneapolis, MN. Spent 2002-2010 writing about basketballs in Ohio. Spent 2001-2008 buying and selling Mr. Potato Heads in Gainesville, FL. Spent college summers licensing magma in Bethesda, MD. Was quite successful at buying and selling junk food in Washington, DC. Spent 2001-2006 promoting heroin in the aftermarket.